Oh Netflix, why you gotta do me wrong?

I’ve humored you and your ‘recommendations’. Some were even semi-decent. But it seems like I’m on a losing streak lately, to the point where I’m so hesitant about starting a new show or movie, I figure I’d just re-watch a sure thing (Breaking Bad binge, anyone?).

I did give The End of The F***ing World a chance; two entire episodes of the most antipathetic, awful teenagers I’ve seen on screen in a long, long time. There’s nothing even semi-redeeming about this pile of crap. The writing is boring, the leads are the kind of people you want to punch in the face repeatedly, there’s very little going on and I’d probably be 100% behind James’s urge to kill that annoying brat Alissa if he weren’t so goddamn repulsive himself.

Why, again, is this show ‘trending’ on Netflix? There’s nothing really ‘dark’ about it, nor anything remotely humorous. Everyone’s unlikable, the story is blah, and aside from a few good quick-cuts, the direction and editing aren’t much to write home about, either.

Does the psycho teenager murder the annoying girl? Who cares? Do they end up falling in love after all? If so, they totally deserve each other. Either way, I refuse to stick around and find out for myself, because spending even 3 more hours on this would just be a colossal waste of my time.

Boo.


So I decided to try my luck with a movie. Oh, what a mistake that was — or rather, what a mistake it was not to check the ratings and reviews before sitting down and wasting two hours of my life on yet another idiotic Netflix original.

The Open House starts out with an interesting, albeit played out, premise, and that’s where it sucks you in: family tragedy occurs, mother and son move to a big creepy house in the mountains, weird things start happening. So far, so good. Except all the truly creepy elements go unexplored, the pace is slow, and instead of building to a big finale, it ends without providing any answers whatsoever.

Did they run out of money halfway through shooting this drivel? Did the director spend all his time coaching Dylan Minnette in overacting during the final few minutes of the film and forget to shoot a few key scenes?

Whatever the reason, I’m surprised this even got green-lit by a studio, let alone bought by Netflix. I’m pretty sure the execs in charge of buying the rights to the movie just figured they scored a bargain and never even bothered to watch it through to the end.

Double boo.


What pisses me off even more about these two flops is that I now have much less time to waste of bad TV and movies, which brings me to a life update: I recently started a new job, which doesn’t allow me to binge entire seasons of several movies back-to-back like I used to. Which is to say, posts on this blog will be less frequent than before, but will by no means stop altogether.

So if you’ve got an awesome show or film to recommend, please, by all means, point me towards something great!

Advertisements