A few random, vaguely similar movie reviews

I wish I were one of those people who rush to see every new movie (or at least the ones who appeal to them) as soon as they hit the theater, or like those who check out every new show that looks promising. Binge-watching has spoiled me when it comes to TV, so aside from the few shows I follow regularly, lately I find myself preferring to just wait and binge on slightly older shows or just focus my attention on mini-series I can watch start-to-finish over a weekend.

As far as movies are concerned, I go through phases. Some weeks I don’t even have the attention span to sit through a whole movie; others I refuse to invest the time unless it’s a must-see. Over the past few months, the only “new” movie I saw was Nocturnal Animals (loved it).

Then there are times when I try to dig up a handful of movies of a certain genre and watch them back-to-back. So, given my recent disappointment in 13 Reasons Why, I figured I should get my teen drama/rom-com fix wherever I could get it, so I picked a few films off of random recommendations:

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

I would really, really like to meet the idiots who gave this movie such rave reviews and punch them in the face. Seriously, why do I fall into this IMDb trap every single time? If only I’d bothered to read the negative reviews before sitting down to watch this crapfest, I wouldn’t have wasted 105 minutes of my life.

Split

Every time there’s buzz around a movie, I promise myself I won’t give in to the hype. And every time I get sucked in.

M. Night Shyamalan’s Split was no exception. No matter what kind of drivel the man has produced since The 6th Sense, it seems like the world keeps hoping that he’ll finally come up with something to equal the well-deserved success of his breakout film.

Get Out

The problem with tremendous hype around a movie is that, when you finally get to see for yourself what the fuss is all about, your expectations are inevitably sky-high. Having been subjected to rave reviews of the movie, ranging from ‘sleeper hit’ (is it me or is that term thrown around excessively lately?) to ‘best horror picture‘ of the year, I went in fully expecting to be terrified by Jordan Peele’s feature film directorial debut.

What I got, instead, was his particular take on racist America, interspersed with humor and a few instances of horror towards the end of the movie.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Get Out – just not for the reasons I felt I was supposed to. There was very little horror to contend with, and, in the end, its power was diminished by the message.

La La Land: a glorified feel-good movie? [long, rambling post]

Warning: what follows is a very long and possibly incoherent rambling post, so read at your own risk.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Few things annoy me more than an over-hyped movie that doesn’t deliver; one of those things may just well be a critically praised movie that partly delivers only to let me down in the end, because it means I am already invested in a premise that appears original… and then Ι get sucker-punched by the most common of horror tropes.

Train To Busan: best zombie movie ever?

I know I’m probably missing out on a lot of phenomenal films, but I usually steer clear of non-english-speaking films because I find subtitles too distracting and/or annoying. There are very few examples of Asian movies I’ve decided to bite and bullet and watch, such as the original Oldboy and Ringu, Battle Royal and Audition, all most of which I enjoyed (Audition was just too damn weird), but when everyone and their mother tout Train To Busan as the best zombie movie ever, I’m sure as hell not going to let a couple of lines of text get in the way of some good ol’ horror.

And let me tell you, I’m so glad I didn’t.

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

There’s the kind of action-adventure movies where one of the most entertaining aspects of the viewing experience is knowing the hero’s lines before he even speaks them; it comes from years of repeated viewings of classic films of the genre, ones that make speaking such iconic quotes as ‘yippe ki-yay, motherf*cker‘ or ‘hasta la vista, baby‘ along with the hero so damn enjoyable, even though there’s zero element of suspense any more.

Then there’s the kind that is so riddled with clichés that every single line of dialogue seems like a throwaway, every character is two-dimensional, every plot twist entirely predictable.

That’s basically Jack Reacher: Never Go Back in a nutshell.

You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

I’ve spent quite some time on this blog – and in private conversations – discussing good movies, awful movies, addictive TV shows and the effects of pop culture in general. So I figure it’s about time we discuss the best worst movie ever made. Sure, there are plenty of contenders for the title, and I certainly don’t claim to have watched every terrible film out there, but in my mind, there is but one true champion.