the telethon runner

I watch TV and write about it. Sometimes I watch movies too.


Awful movies

A couple of short reviews & an update

Oh Netflix, why you gotta do me wrong?

I’ve humored you and your ‘recommendations’. Some were even semi-decent. But it seems like I’m on a losing streak lately, to the point where I’m so hesitant about starting a new show or movie, I figure I’d just re-watch a sure thing (Breaking Bad binge, anyone?).

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Saw: Legacy, aka Jigsaw

From one of the best movies of the year to one of the worst:

Saw: Legacy was so abysmally bad, it really boggles the mind that a studio actually agreed to finance, let alone release this piece of drivel. Keep Reading!

Overrated movies: The Witch

It’s not often that I watch a movie that profoundly scares, upsets or disturbs me, but which is a tough one to recommend. Such was the case with Requiem For A Dream, for instance: I watched it alone, at night, in my dorm room, and it stayed with me for weeks. Although not a horror flick per se, it terrified me far more than any monster or haunted house movie ever could, because in the case of Requiem, the horror factor was all too real. It’s not for everyone, therefore I wouldn’t be quick to recommend it to a lot of people, unless they have the stomach for it.

Torture porn movies are also famously hard to recommend, even to a horror fan, because I realize not everyone shares my tolerance for gore. Yes, they fit the bill in that they’re scary, but they’re also quite disgusting, and a far cry from the type of horror flicks that seem to top ‘best of’ lists, such as The Babadook, Insidious, The Conjuring and every type of paranormal activity movie that usually leaves me cold. (The one exception to the rule was The Blair Witch Project, and only because of the is-this-real-or-not hype surrounding its original release, back when the internet and social media weren’t readily available to help debunk urban legends).

All of this is by way of explaining that, for me, what classifies a movie as ‘horror’, or at least good horror, is quite subjective.

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Every time there’s buzz around a movie, I promise myself I won’t give in to the hype. And every time I get sucked in.

M. Night Shyamalan’s Split was no exception. No matter what kind of drivel the man has produced since The 6th Sense, it seems like the world keeps hoping that he’ll finally come up with something to equal the well-deserved success of his breakout film.

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You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

I’ve spent quite some time on this blog – and in private conversations – discussing good movies, awful movies, addictive TV shows and the effects of pop culture in general. So I figure it’s about time we discuss the best worst movie ever made. Sure, there are plenty of contenders for the title, and I certainly don’t claim to have watched every terrible film out there, but in my mind, there is but one true champion.

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The Neon Demon, aka worst movie of the year

Okay. So this one had a decent rating and was directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. It had a big-name cast, if not a slightly odd one – Elle Fanning, Christina Hendricks, Keanu Reeves, the guy who played Jack Bass on Gossip Girl, and the girl who played Joanna in the Hunger Games. It’s got a semi-interesting plot line – young pretty girl tries to make it as a model in L.A. but jealous bitches will do everything to get what she’s got.

I’ve seen movies that had much less going for them this year, but each and every one was better than the utter drivel that was the Neon Demon. I know, I know. The title alone should have tipped me off. But hell, I liked Drive, I liked Bronson, I (kinda) liked Only God Forgives; I thought Refn’s momentum and quasi-cult-following in recent years pretty much guaranteed a decent movie. Boy was I wrong.

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Confinement thrillers: why are so few of them actually good?

As is probably obvious by now, I love me a good ol’ horror flick. It can be bloody as hell – the bloodier the better, really – or just edge-of-your-seat, pulse-racing scary, but all my favorite scary movies usually have a common denominator: I need them to make sense.

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If it’s in a word, or it’s in a look…

… you can’t get rid of The Babadook.

babadook book 2

Well, at the very least you can’t get rid of the terribly catchy little rhyme.

This little independent flick kept popping up on various ‘best of‘ lists of scary movies I was checking out; some reviewers even went so far as to declare it one of the scariest movies of the decade, so I figured it’s worth a shot.

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Horror Movie Night: double feature

Although there’s about a dozen horror movies in my watchlist and I only picked these two at random, they evidently complemented each other perfectly.

In line with the growing trend of found footage and documentary-style horror flicks ever since the groundbreaking, at the time, Blair Witch Project, both Unfriended and The Visit follow a similar motif.

Except Blair Witch Project was original and scary as hell; I normally don’t get queasy nor do I jump at loud noises, but I watched this in a theater and loudly gasped several times throughout the shaky cam shots.

These two, however, not really scary; just… meh.

But hey, allow me to let you judge for yourselves:

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